9/1 – I noticed that my Atenolol was getting low. Usually Walgreens notifies me that I have a prescription ready long before I notice I’m low. I checked my Walgreen app and it informed me after much gnashing of icons that I needed to contact my physician in order to renew this time.
9/3 – I called Dr. Bevers office and tried to get a renewal. I was informed in no uncertain terms that I needed to come in for a wellness exam before that would be approved. They had an opening for the next day so I scheduled it.
9/4 – Wellness exams are interesting but only as much as watching a rerun of your favorite sitcom is interesting. Urine sample, blood sample, “What’s new with you?”, “Not much, you?” We came around to the fact that my ankles persisted in being swollen despite various attempts to alleviate it. So I have now collected the diagnosis of “Primary Lymphedema”. If it gets to the point that compression socks and elevating my feet at night don’t help, we’ll be at stage 3 and get more aggressive.
Speaking of aggressive, I was informed that it was about time to check my colon again. Did I want to go the full monty or just shit in a box? I opted for the Cologuard. It was so ordered.
9/7 – I got a call from Dr Bevers office. All my panels are back from the lab. Everything is normal. She said that they were very consistent with my last wellness check.
9/9 – My Cologuard box arrived.
9/10 – I got a text from Cologuard welcoming me to my screening.
9/16 – I completed my screening
9/17 – I went to UPS and shipped off my sample
9/18 – I registered a Cologuard account so that I can see my results when they are ready
9/20 – I got a text from Cologuard reminding me to complete my kit as soon as possible
9/21 – I got an email from Cologuard that they have received my kit
9/24 – USPS delivered a “Let’s get started” pamphlet from Cologuard
9/26 -My results came back. I’m negative. (So negative)